Here's an oldie, but a goodie kids. This is a snip-it from another blog I used to write for. WARNING: If you are easily offended not only do I not care, I don't want to hear about it! Just sayin...
Some time ago I was alone in a movie theatre, or so I thought.
I settled in with my popcorn and soda ready for some afternoon entertainment on a lazy day. I was vaguely aware of someone walking in and sitting behind me. Generally, I like to keep to myself in theaters. To me they are like the library...you shouldn't disturb others. Then much to my shagrin the person who just entered decided they were going to strike up a conversation with me. After listening to him describe every corner off town he had been to to find the theater, I gave a not so enthusiastic "uh huh". As the movie started I was relieved to be left in silence again.
Throughout the movie I could here the stirrings of the other occupant. I kept thinking "He's moving around an awful lot back there."
Somewhere 3/4 of the way through the movie, after a brief and seriously uneventful sex scene (not to mention a theatrical shot of some guys ass) I heard it! And when I say it I mean IT!! And I think you may know where I'm going with this. The sound of the "FAP". Skin hitting skin. As I sat stunned thinking "Is he really doing what I think he's doing?" I heard more.....but this time the "fapping" was accompanied by two somewhat muffled groans. It was apparent that action on the screen had got him going. But seriously it was a Michelle Pfeifer film! Who "faps" to Michelle Pfiefer? I mean really! No offense to her, but she's not exactly a hot commodity any more.
Anyway- after a few moments of paralyzing horror, I moved to leave. It was like I was movin' in slooooowww mmmooootttttion. I didn't dare look right at him, that would have been like looking directly at Medusa except I probably would have burst into flames. But, I did manage a peripheral look and as I much suspected the jerkmaster was hunched over himself. Presumably in a state of self-induced ecstasy. Finally, I made it to the door and out to the concession stand. After about 15 minutes they brought me what looked like a 15 year old boy who said he was the manager. When I told him what happened he looked at me and said "Are you serious?". NO not at all. Basically I stormed out in disgust and called the district manager. And to make a longer story short I got 6 free passes, but I will never look at Michelle Pfeifer the same way! THANKS PERVERT! Fap on kids!
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