Since getting married I discovered the many nuances that go along with marriage.
Maybe one night I want burgers and he wants pizza or I want to watch an "intriqueing" movie on Lifetime (The Man Hating Channel as he calls it) and he wants to watch some sporting event or another which is clearly the most boring thing on t.v.. But what I have definately noticed are the "silent arguements" we have on the regular:
1. Our very first argument wasn't about bills or sex....it was about a cast iron skillet. Yes, you understand me correctly! A cast iron skillet. Those of you who own one know you don't wash them at least not in a conventional way because you would take all the seasoning out of the pan. (If you are hoping for a household tip in this blog for "How to clean your cast iron skillet" you're in the wrong place. Ask that bitch Martha....but I digress) So anyway, the pan can get a little gnarly at times so I don't put it in the cabinet, I keep it on the stove top. Besides I think it adds a homey feel to the kitchen (which was previously decorated with all apples and made me want to vomit ON EVERYTHING!) Whenever I was not in the kitchen he would put the skillet in the cabinet and when I would come out I would take it back out and put it in it's place on the stove. This went on until there was a rather HEATED conversation about where my skillet would take up residence. Can you guess where the skillet is right now? ;p (I think mostly because he's afraid he might get hit with it one day, or so he says!)
2. The next would be the pantry door. He will leave it hanging open all day long whereas I don't understand what the big deal is with closing it after you are finished. Within the first month of living here I got so annoyed on a Saturday morning that I slammed the pantry door and the clock hanging above it fell to the floor and shattered. When he asked what happened I said it must have not been hung very well......that damn clock was fine he just pissed me off!!
3. The next is probably what makes me want to lose my shit the most.....the remote control....and no, not because he won't let me have it! We can be watching ANYTHING it doesn't matter what the hell it is if he has a bit of theory to add to a news report, a story to tell about a small history fact, or a story he has repeated to me at least 7 times he will press "pause" on the Direct t.v. live stream to tell me. I can be totally in to a show and he will do this. I let this go on for a while before I finally said, "Is it entirely necessary for you to stop the show every time you want to tell me something?" His answer is always the same, "Well, I didn't want to be rude and try to talk over the show." more like he wanted to make sure I was ONLY listening to him.
4. Next we have his abnormal attraction to large amounts of pepper. It must go on everything, even MY food.
5.And finally, we have the egg shells. Whenever he cooks eggs he will crack the egg and then replace the empty shells back into the carton! When I asked him what he was doing he said, "Doesn't everyone do it that way?", I said, "No, normal people THROW THEM AWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE GARBAGE!" He looked at me like I was from another planet, I swear to God! Who does that? Oh wait...ONLY MY HUSBAND!!! lol
His quirks may drive me up the wall but he would walk the ends of the earth for me and I kissed a lot of toads to find this man and I love him dearly!!!
(DAMN IT!! I knew he was taking away my sarcasm!!)
