"Hello and Thank you for calling...."

So, Cats and Kittens in an attempt to get back in touch with  good writing habits I'm trying to kick the blog back into gear.
I thought that perhaps getting married had made me boring and I had run out of things to write about, but my husband has assured me I am anything but boring ( mostly because I still have a red hot temper and mouth that I censor for no one!!)
So, I thought I would start with the job I have had for the last 4 months. Per the usual I can't give specifics but rather a string of rather non-specific sarcasm.
I am once again working in a call center environment this time involving sales which is not really my forte, but I digress!
Here are a few situations I come across on the daily which drive me up the wall:
1.Old women, let's say over the age of 70, who believe there is any product out there that will make them look younger. There is no fountain of youth and nothing is going to keep you from looking like Old Man River's wife! Give up and die, you already have one foot in the grave!!
2.People who order shit they can't afford when you knew you couldn't afford it in the first damn place and then you call and want to blame me for your irresponsible, 2am, "infomercial" shopping. Listen, I understand what it's like to get dumped, but seriously there is not one thing out there that will make that bastard come crawling back because chances are he already crawled up under one of your better looking friends.
3.People who call in and actually think cussin me out will get them somewhere. It gets you nothing but recorded sounding like a nut job high on crack cocaine. (which I am convinced has also happened) What you don't realize is I'm putting you on mute and cussin you out too! Thanks for calling!
4.Kids who use their parents credit cards. Listen folks, I don't have kids for a reason so don't blame me for YOUR lack of parenting skills. Had I ever pulled that I would have gotten my ass kicked into the middle of next week and then beat again on Thursday!!!
5. One of my all time biggest irritations is, "I can't talk I'm at work." YOU CALLED ME ASSHOLE!! Here's a thought don't call while you're at work.
6. Number 5 is closely followed by this: People chewing in my ear! Can you not wait at least 3 minutes until you are done cussing me out for your child's poor choices before you take a bite of that sandwich?? Really, I'm not asking for much here!
7.Here's an all time favorite: Crying on the phone to get out of a bill. I created that move. Good luck with that!
8.I also thoroughly enjoy being threatened by a faceless individual I never have and never will meet. That really holds a lot of weight with me. Trust me I'm laughing at you on the other end, mostly because you're an idiot.
9.I can tell when you're lying. When you change your story multiple times in a 60 second span trust me I know what's up and it's generally not the caller's IQ.
10. Finally, and I apologize in advance to my foreign readers however, folks that call in with thick accents and can barely speak English and then wonder why they don't understand what's going on......Seriously!!! And that's all I'm going to say about that!
With all that said as I have said before it is a job which is more than a lot of people have these days, but it does provide these to bitch about which as most of you know IS my FORTE!! ; )