Thursday, June 30, 2011
Sound advice from a not always so wise woman....
Sometimes ...no matter what you do...you're wrong.
Every mistake, every broken heart, every tear, leads you to where you are supposed to be.
You can't make someone feel something they just don't, no matter how much you want it. No matter how right it feels to you. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just walk away. All intentions..good,bad, or indifferent will eventually come to light and all you can do is hope you are wiser for it.
Every mistake, every broken heart, every tear, leads you to where you are supposed to be.
You can't make someone feel something they just don't, no matter how much you want it. No matter how right it feels to you. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just walk away. All intentions..good,bad, or indifferent will eventually come to light and all you can do is hope you are wiser for it.
Bringin' it back....alllll the way back!!!
So, after a lengthy hiatus I'm back. I've decided that I need to get back in the swing of writing and it may be just the thing I need to make me feel better these days. Hence the new blog title: Little Red Bouncy Ball...most of you who know me well know that I may get down, but I bounce like a ball and bring it all the way back!!
I know some of you have missed me and others have reported me to the internet authorities that be, so I will ask nicely this time that you don't!!! The blog will now be public so there shouldn't be a need to. Besides- I think I know which one of you it was, I don't want to mention names or anything, but no hard feelings Dbag! lol.
I will be archiving all the oldies but goodies that so many of you were fond of and going from there!
See you soon kiddies!!
I know some of you have missed me and others have reported me to the internet authorities that be, so I will ask nicely this time that you don't!!! The blog will now be public so there shouldn't be a need to. Besides- I think I know which one of you it was, I don't want to mention names or anything, but no hard feelings Dbag! lol.
I will be archiving all the oldies but goodies that so many of you were fond of and going from there!
See you soon kiddies!!
"They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no,no,no"
ATTENTION READERS: Yes, I am aware I need to attend myself! Don't bother commenting!kthx!
It is my firm belief that there should be a "Relationship Rehab" for men (and for women for that matter)
There would be little white cots in a group area for the minor cases, private rooms for the men that really need work, and a segregated area for the more extreme cases.
Minor cases would consist of those who fuck up "occasionally", but make the SAME mistakes consistently. i.e. simply not thinking before they act or speak and trouble keeping their word.
Mediocre cases would be those who have no consideration in their decision making and lack general respect for women's feelings.
SEVERE cases would consist of those who cheat, lie, speak harshly and without love. etc. to women over and over and over again.
All patients would be required to work one on one with female counselors and submit to "field testing".
Field testing would consist of a mock relationship of 3 months or more, depending on the severity of the case, where they would be expected to exhibit new learned habits from group therapy and one on one sessions with counselors.
Women's Rehab would consist of therapy sessions and work shops on getting over dead beat men, moving on, being attracted to the RIGHT kind of man, letting go of a relationship when it's over, sticking up for herself, not acting like a psycho, and being more independent.
It is my firm belief that there should be a "Relationship Rehab" for men (and for women for that matter)
There would be little white cots in a group area for the minor cases, private rooms for the men that really need work, and a segregated area for the more extreme cases.
Minor cases would consist of those who fuck up "occasionally", but make the SAME mistakes consistently. i.e. simply not thinking before they act or speak and trouble keeping their word.
Mediocre cases would be those who have no consideration in their decision making and lack general respect for women's feelings.
SEVERE cases would consist of those who cheat, lie, speak harshly and without love. etc. to women over and over and over again.
All patients would be required to work one on one with female counselors and submit to "field testing".
Field testing would consist of a mock relationship of 3 months or more, depending on the severity of the case, where they would be expected to exhibit new learned habits from group therapy and one on one sessions with counselors.
Women's Rehab would consist of therapy sessions and work shops on getting over dead beat men, moving on, being attracted to the RIGHT kind of man, letting go of a relationship when it's over, sticking up for herself, not acting like a psycho, and being more independent.
Interesting but ineffective ways to ask me on a date!~archive~
I've had my share of invitations, I have to admit, but not all of them are memorable and some of them are memorable for the WRONG reasons!! Sometimes I wonder if these guys are serious and what they were taught about dating growing up.
I long for the days when it was simple like "Will you go out with me? Yes or No (check one)"
Black and white and right to the point which is how I like things! No confusion and nothing left open ended in case one or the other party finds something better to do.
I started thinking of the more interesting ways in which I have been "pursued":
1.Leaving a note on my windshield. I understand you didn't have enough courage to approach me directly and speak to me and while this is an interesting option it is slightly stalker-ish. Rest assured I will throw your note on the ground for another lucky woman to find and I'm sure she will automatically assume it was for her since all it said was, "I seen you round the neighborhood and I'd like to get to know ya. Here's my number hit me up." BTW-your proper use of grammar was also impressive.
2.Writing on my To-do list at work. It would have been flattering for a moment except it said, "Date with ________= priceless". Wow that's really romantic and just what every woman is looking for. You really think a lot of yourself, don't you? So much so that I know you have been using the same technique on almost all the women there. Here's a hint: You're not that impressive and neither is your technique. Take a class or better yet, get some!!!
3.And probably the simplest: yelling an invitation at me from afar! There isn't enough that can be said about yelling, "Hey baby, you're hot! Can I get your number?" Like Erin Brokovich said,"I'm full of numbers" for instance 35..that's my age, .48 that's the balance in my checking account, or here's one for you 4..that's the number of jobs I've had in the last 2 years.
Keep it simple, gentleman!
I long for the days when it was simple like "Will you go out with me? Yes or No (check one)"
Black and white and right to the point which is how I like things! No confusion and nothing left open ended in case one or the other party finds something better to do.
I started thinking of the more interesting ways in which I have been "pursued":
1.Leaving a note on my windshield. I understand you didn't have enough courage to approach me directly and speak to me and while this is an interesting option it is slightly stalker-ish. Rest assured I will throw your note on the ground for another lucky woman to find and I'm sure she will automatically assume it was for her since all it said was, "I seen you round the neighborhood and I'd like to get to know ya. Here's my number hit me up." BTW-your proper use of grammar was also impressive.
2.Writing on my To-do list at work. It would have been flattering for a moment except it said, "Date with ________= priceless". Wow that's really romantic and just what every woman is looking for. You really think a lot of yourself, don't you? So much so that I know you have been using the same technique on almost all the women there. Here's a hint: You're not that impressive and neither is your technique. Take a class or better yet, get some!!!
3.And probably the simplest: yelling an invitation at me from afar! There isn't enough that can be said about yelling, "Hey baby, you're hot! Can I get your number?" Like Erin Brokovich said,"I'm full of numbers" for instance 35..that's my age, .48 that's the balance in my checking account, or here's one for you 4..that's the number of jobs I've had in the last 2 years.
Keep it simple, gentleman!
10 ways to ensure you will never get a second date with me! ~archive~
And sometimes they don't even make it to the first date. It may seem like I'm picky, but I just know what I want. I run a tight ship so come prepared!
1. Being wishy-washy!
If you ask me out and then as the said date approaches you say: "Well, I can't tell you either way if I'm going." then you obviously have no real interest at all. Please find someone else's time to waste because mine is important. Thank you!
2. Not making conversation during the date.
If you sit there and stare around the restaurant and having nothing intelligent to say or ask then chances are you are not to begin with. Just sayin.
3. Not making an attempt to get to know me.
If all you can talk about is yourself then you can go on the date .......by yourself.
4. Being cheap on the first date.
Now, don't misunderstand me, I am not saying exorbitant amounts need to spent, but if your idea of a good date is Wendy's you may need to step it up for the first date. Save Wendy's for after we have been dating a few months and I don't care what I look like around you.
5. Being disagreeable.
I heard somewhere once that arguing on a first date shows passion between the couple, but I tend to find it a bad sign and generally annoying.
6. Not offering opinions on where we should go or what we should do. Don't leave it all up to me because I'm pretty sure I won't be on this date alone. Here again, just sayin.
7. Looking at other women.
It's just rude. Enough said.
8. Hitting on the waitress. (see above)
9. Complaining about my taste in movies.
This is something near and dear to my heart. Don't insult me.
10. Being mean to my dog.
I'm pretty sure I would get rid of you because he is not going anywhere.
1. Being wishy-washy!
If you ask me out and then as the said date approaches you say: "Well, I can't tell you either way if I'm going." then you obviously have no real interest at all. Please find someone else's time to waste because mine is important. Thank you!
2. Not making conversation during the date.
If you sit there and stare around the restaurant and having nothing intelligent to say or ask then chances are you are not to begin with. Just sayin.
3. Not making an attempt to get to know me.
If all you can talk about is yourself then you can go on the date .......by yourself.
4. Being cheap on the first date.
Now, don't misunderstand me, I am not saying exorbitant amounts need to spent, but if your idea of a good date is Wendy's you may need to step it up for the first date. Save Wendy's for after we have been dating a few months and I don't care what I look like around you.
5. Being disagreeable.
I heard somewhere once that arguing on a first date shows passion between the couple, but I tend to find it a bad sign and generally annoying.
6. Not offering opinions on where we should go or what we should do. Don't leave it all up to me because I'm pretty sure I won't be on this date alone. Here again, just sayin.
7. Looking at other women.
It's just rude. Enough said.
8. Hitting on the waitress. (see above)
9. Complaining about my taste in movies.
This is something near and dear to my heart. Don't insult me.
10. Being mean to my dog.
I'm pretty sure I would get rid of you because he is not going anywhere.
CAUTION: This blog may contain strong language intended for adults only and run on sentences. ~archive~
So, as most of you know I work in retail. Not the most glamorous job, but as we all know with the economy the way it has been those "glamorous" jobs are already taken my people with drug problems like Lyndsey Lohan and Whitney Houston.
I'm pretty sure there isn't a 9 year old anywhere that has ever said, "I really want to work retail when I grow up and for the rest of my life live in servitude to some money mongering big wig who has absolutely no idea who their employees actually are, but spends the money he could be paying his hard working employees on his new hair plugs", I know I never said that. I'm pretty sure at that age I wanted to be a fashion designer or something equally fabulous.
Anyway- working with the public really shows you just how ignorant and rude people really are.
A lot of people, it would seem, think that this is all we have going for us, that most of us have no degree or other interests or that we could possibly be any good at anything outside of asking, "May I help you?".
In all actuality, most of us DO have degrees, some of us even have multiple degrees or are currently seeking more than one. And MOST of us are able to speak with moderate intelligent when asked a polite, direct, INTELLIGENT question.
We are not the dregs of society as some would like to treat us, so I have come up with a check list for everyone of proper shopping etiquette:
1. Please for the love of God, when addressing someone in retail NEVER insinuate they are of lower intelligence simply because they work retail or because they are a FEMALE working retail. This might end with you receiving a punch in the nuts if ever seen out in public aside from our place of employment.
2. DO NOT ALLOW your children (the angels that they may be) to walk up to our displays and knock them over while you look on. Then consequently turn around and ask the employee if there is a problem. OF COURSE THERE IS A PROBLEM YOU BITCH! You wouldn't have asked that obvious question if there wasn't.
3. Don't be a dirty whore and ask the fitting room attendant if you can try on underwear. Come on are you serious?
4. You may think that screaming and making a scene about not getting your way in the store will get you exactly what you want, but guess what? We don't give a fuck. If you don't shop there again oh fuckin well, you are only one person.
5. If your kid is throwing a fit and has been for the last 45 minutes while you pretended it wasn't going on, please remove yourself from the store. I'm pretty sure the employees are not the only ones who want to shank you.
6. No, we do not serve wine in the fitting room. This is not 5th Avenue.
7. The fitting room attendant is not your mother, turn your fuckin cloths out right side yourself.
8. Put shit back where you got it. I'm pretty sure that pair of jeans doesn't belong hanging on that jewelry spinner asshole.
9. If you did crack today please stay at home.
10. Please shower before coming to our establishments. If we have to smell good so should you!
And there you have it all the things that we wish we could say out loud.
WOW! I really got myself worked up didn't I? But in closing I would also like to say: Here is to jobs that pay the bills!!!
I'm pretty sure there isn't a 9 year old anywhere that has ever said, "I really want to work retail when I grow up and for the rest of my life live in servitude to some money mongering big wig who has absolutely no idea who their employees actually are, but spends the money he could be paying his hard working employees on his new hair plugs", I know I never said that. I'm pretty sure at that age I wanted to be a fashion designer or something equally fabulous.
Anyway- working with the public really shows you just how ignorant and rude people really are.
A lot of people, it would seem, think that this is all we have going for us, that most of us have no degree or other interests or that we could possibly be any good at anything outside of asking, "May I help you?".
In all actuality, most of us DO have degrees, some of us even have multiple degrees or are currently seeking more than one. And MOST of us are able to speak with moderate intelligent when asked a polite, direct, INTELLIGENT question.
We are not the dregs of society as some would like to treat us, so I have come up with a check list for everyone of proper shopping etiquette:
1. Please for the love of God, when addressing someone in retail NEVER insinuate they are of lower intelligence simply because they work retail or because they are a FEMALE working retail. This might end with you receiving a punch in the nuts if ever seen out in public aside from our place of employment.
2. DO NOT ALLOW your children (the angels that they may be) to walk up to our displays and knock them over while you look on. Then consequently turn around and ask the employee if there is a problem. OF COURSE THERE IS A PROBLEM YOU BITCH! You wouldn't have asked that obvious question if there wasn't.
3. Don't be a dirty whore and ask the fitting room attendant if you can try on underwear. Come on are you serious?
4. You may think that screaming and making a scene about not getting your way in the store will get you exactly what you want, but guess what? We don't give a fuck. If you don't shop there again oh fuckin well, you are only one person.
5. If your kid is throwing a fit and has been for the last 45 minutes while you pretended it wasn't going on, please remove yourself from the store. I'm pretty sure the employees are not the only ones who want to shank you.
6. No, we do not serve wine in the fitting room. This is not 5th Avenue.
7. The fitting room attendant is not your mother, turn your fuckin cloths out right side yourself.
8. Put shit back where you got it. I'm pretty sure that pair of jeans doesn't belong hanging on that jewelry spinner asshole.
9. If you did crack today please stay at home.
10. Please shower before coming to our establishments. If we have to smell good so should you!
And there you have it all the things that we wish we could say out loud.
WOW! I really got myself worked up didn't I? But in closing I would also like to say: Here is to jobs that pay the bills!!!
Jerkwadds and Jackbags!! ~archive~
Here's an oldie, but a goodie kids. This is a snip-it from another blog I used to write for. WARNING: If you are easily offended not only do I not care, I don't want to hear about it! Just sayin...
Some time ago I was alone in a movie theatre, or so I thought.
I settled in with my popcorn and soda ready for some afternoon entertainment on a lazy day. I was vaguely aware of someone walking in and sitting behind me. Generally, I like to keep to myself in theaters. To me they are like the library...you shouldn't disturb others. Then much to my shagrin the person who just entered decided they were going to strike up a conversation with me. After listening to him describe every corner off town he had been to to find the theater, I gave a not so enthusiastic "uh huh". As the movie started I was relieved to be left in silence again.
Throughout the movie I could here the stirrings of the other occupant. I kept thinking "He's moving around an awful lot back there."
Somewhere 3/4 of the way through the movie, after a brief and seriously uneventful sex scene (not to mention a theatrical shot of some guys ass) I heard it! And when I say it I mean IT!! And I think you may know where I'm going with this. The sound of the "FAP". Skin hitting skin. As I sat stunned thinking "Is he really doing what I think he's doing?" I heard more.....but this time the "fapping" was accompanied by two somewhat muffled groans. It was apparent that action on the screen had got him going. But seriously it was a Michelle Pfeifer film! Who "faps" to Michelle Pfiefer? I mean really! No offense to her, but she's not exactly a hot commodity any more.
Anyway- after a few moments of paralyzing horror, I moved to leave. It was like I was movin' in slooooowww mmmooootttttion. I didn't dare look right at him, that would have been like looking directly at Medusa except I probably would have burst into flames. But, I did manage a peripheral look and as I much suspected the jerkmaster was hunched over himself. Presumably in a state of self-induced ecstasy. Finally, I made it to the door and out to the concession stand. After about 15 minutes they brought me what looked like a 15 year old boy who said he was the manager. When I told him what happened he looked at me and said "Are you serious?". NO not at all. Basically I stormed out in disgust and called the district manager. And to make a longer story short I got 6 free passes, but I will never look at Michelle Pfeifer the same way! THANKS PERVERT! Fap on kids!
Some time ago I was alone in a movie theatre, or so I thought.
I settled in with my popcorn and soda ready for some afternoon entertainment on a lazy day. I was vaguely aware of someone walking in and sitting behind me. Generally, I like to keep to myself in theaters. To me they are like the library...you shouldn't disturb others. Then much to my shagrin the person who just entered decided they were going to strike up a conversation with me. After listening to him describe every corner off town he had been to to find the theater, I gave a not so enthusiastic "uh huh". As the movie started I was relieved to be left in silence again.
Throughout the movie I could here the stirrings of the other occupant. I kept thinking "He's moving around an awful lot back there."
Somewhere 3/4 of the way through the movie, after a brief and seriously uneventful sex scene (not to mention a theatrical shot of some guys ass) I heard it! And when I say it I mean IT!! And I think you may know where I'm going with this. The sound of the "FAP". Skin hitting skin. As I sat stunned thinking "Is he really doing what I think he's doing?" I heard more.....but this time the "fapping" was accompanied by two somewhat muffled groans. It was apparent that action on the screen had got him going. But seriously it was a Michelle Pfeifer film! Who "faps" to Michelle Pfiefer? I mean really! No offense to her, but she's not exactly a hot commodity any more.
Anyway- after a few moments of paralyzing horror, I moved to leave. It was like I was movin' in slooooowww mmmooootttttion. I didn't dare look right at him, that would have been like looking directly at Medusa except I probably would have burst into flames. But, I did manage a peripheral look and as I much suspected the jerkmaster was hunched over himself. Presumably in a state of self-induced ecstasy. Finally, I made it to the door and out to the concession stand. After about 15 minutes they brought me what looked like a 15 year old boy who said he was the manager. When I told him what happened he looked at me and said "Are you serious?". NO not at all. Basically I stormed out in disgust and called the district manager. And to make a longer story short I got 6 free passes, but I will never look at Michelle Pfeifer the same way! THANKS PERVERT! Fap on kids!
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