I see by my stat reader that last weeks post, "How to know you're dealing with a Stupid Bitch" was fairly popular amongst my fans. I also learned, by accident, it was popular amongst an enemy or two!! : )
So, today's chat is brought to you by Stupid Bitches who can't handle the truth!!! (Let me pull out my smoking jacket and pipe and settle into my arm chair Ala Deep Thoughts style.)
Over the years I have made many mistakes. Let me reiterate that.. many, MANY mistakes. And I'm not going to lie and say, "Oh, I wouldn't take anything back because they have all made me exactly who I am!" Sometimes I think people are idiots because you know there is shit we would ALL take back. Have they made me who I am? Yep, sure have and hopefully I have learned some good lessons from them, but did they always need to be learned? Nope!!!! Like my family has always told me I tend to learn the hard way! But I digress! If I could have gotten away without making those truly shitty mistakes I would have but oh well! They have still delivered me right to this very spot battle scars and all!
I may not like my life every single day but every other day it's pretty damn good! I have a job, I pay my own bills, I stand on MY OWN TWO FEET!!! Is it rough? Sure fuckin is!!! Do I have money for pretty cloths all the time? Nope! Do I feel pretty all the damn time? Nope!! Do I always feel my best? Fuck no!! But here's what I DO know for sure......
I know what's important: 1)My Family!!! Mama, Dad, brother, his wife & kids and the extended. I love you all very much! 2)The 2 women pictured to your right >>>>> my best friends! We are each others rocks when need be, sounding boards, and a slap of reality if needed and always, ALWAYS a good laugh!!! I love you girls!!
3)The other few people of my small circle that I will ALWAYS call my dear friends! You know who you are! Love you!
4) Being a woman of substance and integrity!!!
Workin my ass to the bone isn't always fun. Partyin' is. But I would rather know what I stand for and not have to run around from place to place wondering! So in short, no I'm not going to apologize to you ( and you know who you are) and "admit I was wrong" because I wasn't wrong for anything. And I do not wish to make peace. In fact, my life has been VERY peaceful without you! You are not the kind of person I want in my life. You are all fun and good times which is just that. But when anyone really needed ya, you were worthless. I have what I need. Thanks! Now THAT'S RealTalk!!
Oh and for any Stupid Bitches reading this, here are some foot notes for any words that you may not have understood in the above post! Sound them out slooowwwwlllyyy!!!! ; )
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
Substance: 1.the actual matter of a thing, as opposed to the appearance or shadow; reality. 2.the subject matter of thought, discourse, study, etc.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
How to know you are dealing with a Stupid Bitch!!
Working in the public I have seen them in droves. Females who make me ashamed to have a vagina or equally important make me want to punch them in theirs for being so stupid.
I capitalized the words 'Stupid Bitch' in the title because I firmly believe this should be a proper name to describe the following women:
1.Women who point something out and ask a question about something that clearly has a sign answering their question...right in front of their finger. Stupid Bitch.
2.Women who run around like a maniac looking for something then run up to you in a panic and ask if you have said object, you take them down the same isle they have been patrolling for 15 like a war ship and it's not there. If you don't see it we don't have it. There is not a secret store room in the back, in my pocket, or otherwise. Stupid Bitch.
3.Women who can not look for or follow directional signs. Signs with arrows stating: 'THIS WAY' or HUGE lit up RESTROOM signs and then proceed to ask, "Where is the... ooohhh....hehehehehehe." You're not funny, you're a .....Stupid Bitch.
4.Women who hold up an entire line while they organize their purse. This is simply a pet peeve. Stupid Bitch.
5.Women who wear flip flops, shorts, belly shirts, skirts that show their oh-la-la with no coat in 30 degree weather and then proclaim, "It's cold." and expect me to agree and look sympathetic. No I'm going to look at you like you're an idiot because you are a.... Stupid Bitch.
6.Women who make a pit stop on their way home while doing their 'walk of shame'. At least straighten your disheveled ass out before getting out of the car. Get a brush through that hair, wipe away that eyeliner that made it's way across your face as it was pushed into the pillow an hour ago. Don't subject other people to your poor decision making just go straight home. Stupid Bitch.
7.Women who post shit on Facebook that makes them seem so profound, deep, spiritual, smart, and like they have their shit together when in reality they are THE LAST person you would ever want to take advice from because they have fucked up their life far worse than they have ever told anyone. Quit lyin to yourself. Ya hot mess, everyone else already knows the truth.....Stupid Bitch.
We were all stupid once but here's to those of us that have straightened our asses out!!!
I capitalized the words 'Stupid Bitch' in the title because I firmly believe this should be a proper name to describe the following women:
1.Women who point something out and ask a question about something that clearly has a sign answering their question...right in front of their finger. Stupid Bitch.
2.Women who run around like a maniac looking for something then run up to you in a panic and ask if you have said object, you take them down the same isle they have been patrolling for 15 like a war ship and it's not there. If you don't see it we don't have it. There is not a secret store room in the back, in my pocket, or otherwise. Stupid Bitch.
3.Women who can not look for or follow directional signs. Signs with arrows stating: 'THIS WAY' or HUGE lit up RESTROOM signs and then proceed to ask, "Where is the... ooohhh....hehehehehehe." You're not funny, you're a .....Stupid Bitch.
4.Women who hold up an entire line while they organize their purse. This is simply a pet peeve. Stupid Bitch.
5.Women who wear flip flops, shorts, belly shirts, skirts that show their oh-la-la with no coat in 30 degree weather and then proclaim, "It's cold." and expect me to agree and look sympathetic. No I'm going to look at you like you're an idiot because you are a.... Stupid Bitch.
6.Women who make a pit stop on their way home while doing their 'walk of shame'. At least straighten your disheveled ass out before getting out of the car. Get a brush through that hair, wipe away that eyeliner that made it's way across your face as it was pushed into the pillow an hour ago. Don't subject other people to your poor decision making just go straight home. Stupid Bitch.
7.Women who post shit on Facebook that makes them seem so profound, deep, spiritual, smart, and like they have their shit together when in reality they are THE LAST person you would ever want to take advice from because they have fucked up their life far worse than they have ever told anyone. Quit lyin to yourself. Ya hot mess, everyone else already knows the truth.....Stupid Bitch.
We were all stupid once but here's to those of us that have straightened our asses out!!!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Cell phone conversations you NEVER want to over hear! EVER!!
This all started with a conversation I over heard one night in a store from a young woman who was using her outside voice about her choice of household bugs! This is almost painful to write! Almost.....
1."Oh, I had bed bugs and they were so hard to get rid of."
2."Is it pussing and oozing? Well, you didn't catch it from me!" I'm not going any further with this one!
3."It couldn't possibly be MY baby!"
4."I guess I have no choice but to pay that child support."
5."Are you wearing underwear?" Oh, it's your wife on the other end? Thanx for verifying that for everyone around you buddy!
6."Does anyone have any Exlax?" Well, no not handy!!
7.Anything to do with the one night stand you had the night before and/or the size of said partner or that your "lady parts" are hurting like a mother fucker today from said encounter which by the way wouldn't make any part of you much of a "lady" considering the fact you are discussing it in public within ear shot of OTHERS! whore.
8."My period is SOOOOO heavy I filled up about 4 tampons in an hour!" Seriously, bitch I can barely stand being a woman myself I don't want to hear your problems too! STFU!
9. Gentlemen, this one is for you- "I couldn't wait for her to get out this morning I was so drunk last night I forgot I brought her home! I told her I was helping at the shelter."
10. Any break up over the phone IN PUBLIC is just in poor taste!!
1."Oh, I had bed bugs and they were so hard to get rid of."
2."Is it pussing and oozing? Well, you didn't catch it from me!" I'm not going any further with this one!
3."It couldn't possibly be MY baby!"
4."I guess I have no choice but to pay that child support."
5."Are you wearing underwear?" Oh, it's your wife on the other end? Thanx for verifying that for everyone around you buddy!
6."Does anyone have any Exlax?" Well, no not handy!!
7.Anything to do with the one night stand you had the night before and/or the size of said partner or that your "lady parts" are hurting like a mother fucker today from said encounter which by the way wouldn't make any part of you much of a "lady" considering the fact you are discussing it in public within ear shot of OTHERS! whore.
8."My period is SOOOOO heavy I filled up about 4 tampons in an hour!" Seriously, bitch I can barely stand being a woman myself I don't want to hear your problems too! STFU!
9. Gentlemen, this one is for you- "I couldn't wait for her to get out this morning I was so drunk last night I forgot I brought her home! I told her I was helping at the shelter."
10. Any break up over the phone IN PUBLIC is just in poor taste!!
Phrases that confuse the F&*^ out of me!!
Let me begin by saying, I really have no words right now. That's right, You heard it here first I'm speechless....almost!
1. "Are you shitting me?"... No, I am not! Why would I want to? I've never really understood this.
2. "Sucks balls" as in "This phone sucks balls." My understanding,from talking to several men that is, sucking balls isn't suppose to be a bad thing so why would you describe anything as such?
3. "A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush." What in the holy fuck does this mean? I haven't met one person in my ENTIRE life that can tell me what it means. I have asked several and they thought they could explain but in the end they stuttered and came up with nothing! And exactly what or whose bush are we talking about here and then throw in a bird and it all becomes pretty suspect!
1. "Are you shitting me?"... No, I am not! Why would I want to? I've never really understood this.
2. "Sucks balls" as in "This phone sucks balls." My understanding,from talking to several men that is, sucking balls isn't suppose to be a bad thing so why would you describe anything as such?
3. "A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush." What in the holy fuck does this mean? I haven't met one person in my ENTIRE life that can tell me what it means. I have asked several and they thought they could explain but in the end they stuttered and came up with nothing! And exactly what or whose bush are we talking about here and then throw in a bird and it all becomes pretty suspect!
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