This all started with a conversation I over heard one night in a store from a young woman who was using her outside voice about her choice of household bugs! This is almost painful to write! Almost.....
1."Oh, I had bed bugs and they were so hard to get rid of."
2."Is it pussing and oozing? Well, you didn't catch it from me!" I'm not going any further with this one!
3."It couldn't possibly be MY baby!"
4."I guess I have no choice but to pay that child support."
5."Are you wearing underwear?" Oh, it's your wife on the other end? Thanx for verifying that for everyone around you buddy!
6."Does anyone have any Exlax?" Well, no not handy!!
7.Anything to do with the one night stand you had the night before and/or the size of said partner or that your "lady parts" are hurting like a mother fucker today from said encounter which by the way wouldn't make any part of you much of a "lady" considering the fact you are discussing it in public within ear shot of OTHERS! whore.
8."My period is SOOOOO heavy I filled up about 4 tampons in an hour!" Seriously, bitch I can barely stand being a woman myself I don't want to hear your problems too! STFU!
9. Gentlemen, this one is for you- "I couldn't wait for her to get out this morning I was so drunk last night I forgot I brought her home! I told her I was helping at the shelter."
10. Any break up over the phone IN PUBLIC is just in poor taste!!
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