Along with my top ten lists of The Graveyard shift I am also frequently the victim of what I like to call "Hostage Situation Conversations". This is when a person continually prattles about topics of which they CLEARLY have no knowledge and REFUSE to allow you to return to your work.
During these "conversations" I have learned many useful/interesting things such as:
1. "The problem with America is milk and creamer. It's killing everyone."..... You know what else is killing me? The sound of your voice.
2. The same individual also revealed the secret of long life to me and me alone!!!.... "If you snort organic Silver it will cure anything you have wrong with you!".... Yes, mostly because you will be DEAD!!
3. "I have a ranch in Texas with pure gold railings along the stairs. I can take you away from all of this!".......GREAT!! Send me that PURE GOLD railing so I can pay some bills and get away....far away from you!!
4."It's ok if you are crazy as long as you are pretty!" O.o
5."How do I get out of the parking lot?" Well, ya fuckin moron,how the hell did you get in? Try laying a trail of breadcrumbs next time!
6."I'm going to hypnotize you to believe that I am the most attractive man alive and you want me.....is it working?" This should be self explanatory to all my readers because you all know I just walked away without a word.
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